How to Become More Confident

Crystal Belle, PhD
4 min readDec 4, 2021


Everywhere we turn these days, we hear of self-love and self-care, often rooted in conceptions of confidence. The assumption I observe often, is that everyone has an understanding of how to become more confident. Through my coaching practice, I have learned that this is not often the case. In fact, many people are walking around without believing in themselves due to systems of oppression that keep many of us in cycles of fear and doubt. Having confidence is believing that you have the attitude, energy and resources to continuously practice radical self-care.

Steps for becoming more confident include:

1. Seeking out others who are succeeding at opportunities you are interested in. Reach out to folks and build your own communities of radical self-care and support.

When you are on the path to becoming more confident, it is important for you to come up with a working definition of what confidence looks like for you (self-reflection and goal-setting) and then find models of that within your own spheres of influence to build radical communities of self-care. We often see having confidence as an insular thing, however, self-confidence can be nurtured and developed within safe communities of individuals with similar interests that you may have. You can join various fb groups, connect with Youtubers or create new communities using hashtags on Twitter/Fb/IG. You would be surprised at how many communities you can join, while receiving confidence boosting online, without leaving your couch! My private fitness group is one of them, too!

2. Telling yourself that you are worth it and that investing in yourself is ultimately a confidence booster and a self-esteem booster.

Positive self-talk is a huge aspect of radical self-care. Are you telling yourself that you are enough just the way you are? Are you relying on institutions or others to validate your self-esteem? If so, you need to start your day with positive affirmations to keep you grounded in radical self-care. Start your day with positive words and meditation to ground yourself in your approach to the day. (

3. Engaging in new hobbies and interests to sharpen your skills!

Many adults often forget about the impact of hobbies in our lives! Hobbies improve the overall quality of our lives by relieving stress and giving us new skills we never imagined we had. We are all capable of learning, in fact learning new skills also increases your confidence and self-esteem. What is holding you back from trying a new hobby? There are many: Knitting (a personal favorite), exercising (this is vital for your health and wellness), joining a local sports team, reading, etc. There is much to learn and explore which in turn will boost your sense of purpose.


I cannot stress this enough! Social media often takes up much of our time throughout the day. As a result, there are many people who suffer from anxiety and insomnia due to constant overstimulation of the senses on various social media platforms. Try going to bed at an earlier time (I know! Scary territory)… But guess what? You will have more energy and feel better throughout the day, too. Why? Because your body will have enough rest and your mental clarity will be stronger. Rest is not a privilege, it is a sacred aspect of your radical self-care routine.

5. Love MORE!

It is assumed that we inherently know how to love and that is partially true. However, love is a verb, which means there are actions that are meant to uplift, inspire and motivate us to be and become our best selves. As such, love is a journey, a commitment to ourselves and others that questions, answers and reflects often. It is an ongoing testimony, shedding light upon our time here on Earth and what we choose to do with that time. If we spend most of that time not opening our hearts to love, we will live lives that feel heavy and weighed down by worry. Love more so you can be free.

I hope these 5 tips help you on the road to becoming more confident. When we are more confident, it is because we have centered our self-care in the face of everything that life throws at us: joy, trauma, progress and struggles. Through it all, having a more confident sense of self will not only help us through anything, but it will also allow us to bring others with us, too. Remember, lift as we climb.



Crystal Belle, PhD

Dr. Crystal Belle is an educator, scholar and founder of Self Love Life 101. Her first book, Start with Radical Love, is set to debut with Corwin press in 2024